Dixie Evans’ Joe Dimaggio Act

Here Dixie Evans describes her Joe DiMaggio act, and one special performance that featured an unexpected guest appearance.

I created this act around the time Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio divorced.  I had a couch transformed into a Yankee dugout bench.  I had on my tight pink satin gown and I came out on stage with a long handkerchief.  I cried into my handkerchief as I recited my lines into the mic:

“Oh boo hoo!  Why shouldn’t I go ahead and cry?
After all, Joe, you just scene left me flat.
Why you didn’t want me anymore?
You left no doubt of that.
Now you’re gone and I’m all alone
Well I’m sure glad you left your bat.
Oh but life was beginning to drag
And things were becoming a bore!
Between your old baseball and your spaghetti
And what’s more
I just hate a man in bed who keeps yelling
What’s the score?
So take back your old linens
And your cold cold showers
Don’t worry if I need you
You’ll answer my calls
Why would you answer my calls?
That’s very simple.
I’ve still got you
By your New York Yankee baseballs!”

I grabbed that baseball and planted a kiss on it and threw it into the audience.  I put a baseball hat on top of my bat and danced with it to an old sentimental song.  I threw the bat aside and I slid into home and got on that bench.  I removed my wardrobe.  Towards the end of my act, I stood up and screamed, “Can’t go on!  Everything I have is gone!  Stormy weather.”  I dropped to my knees and cried and beat up the Yankee dugout with my baseball bat.

Joe and Marilyn had broken up.  It was too much to bear.

One night I was doing this act and right during the big finale, I felt the spotlight swing off me.  I followed the beam of light to this woman who had stood up in the audience.  She was singing “Stormy Weather” and all eyes were on her, including mine.

That woman was Lena Horn.

I finished my act, screaming and fighting the dugout while Lena Horn sang her heart out.  We both gave it our all.

When I got off the stage, the maître d’ tapped me on the shoulder:  “Lena Horn and her party want to meet you.”  I changed as quickly as I could.  I tried to pat my curls closer to my head but my hands were shaking.  I had met a lot of celebrities before, but Lena Horn was the cat’s meow.  When I joined them, her smile started at the corner of her eyes and lit up her entire face.  Her skin was like silk and I had to sit on my hands to keep from touching it.  By the end of the night, I was snuggled right up alongside Lena Horne.  She was an incredibly warm person.

I remember seeing her perform when I was younger at one of the big theaters in Los   Angeles.  Lena Horne was a huge star of immense magnitude.  I learned that the bigger the star, the more compassionate they are.  True star quality cannot be faked.  I met many celebrities at the Place Pigalle but none of them were like Lena Horne.  Her beauty and talent were unending.  She didn’t blow me off because I was a stripper.  She was one of the most gorgeous women I have ever met and in an industry like mine, that’s saying a lot.

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